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Line 11: removed new before technolgies//not needed removed comma after developers added being before invented changed to what degree is this a good thing, Full stop after another time added that after say Removed are "dark arts" and added comma Line 13: Rmoved all after often not //not needed Line 15: Removed comma after user //not needed Line 27: Added "so" in one sense "you can say" that "your" Line 29: changed for to by